If you observe closely, you'll notice certain things about the people who are obsessed with watching what everyone else at the table is eating. I've always been very annoyed by this, but thanks to the lady I get to eat with every Wednesday, I've had fun. So...
- They'll be so busy counting your bites that they'll usually miss their own mouth and jump up from the table with a very poor excuse like "Oh, I'm so clumsy these days; I could swear there was a napkin right here."
- They'll push food in front of you (especially bread) and see if you'll have any because if you don't, they usually won't either. "You hate tomatoes? Oh, well. I've never really liked them either."
- This is my favorite: they will make up excuses to be eating what they're eating as if you care. "Let me just put some bread in my soup so it cools down. I know it's lots of carbs and all, but it's too hot."
See what I mean?
I don't know what I've let it get to me all these years. Probably 'cos my father does the same thing along with dumbass comments about my weight. From now on though I'm gonna fuck with these people to the point where their little brains explode.
