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|  Next year, I'm going to be realistic. Instead of trying the "365 Days" photo project and failing THRICE, I'm gonna do the "50 Books in a Year" in pictures. How creative of me, eh? Hahah. Anyway. I'm almost done with this one, and it's pretty fucking fantastic. * * *Apparently, my dad called me Thursday evening, but I didn't hear my phone. When I called back on Friday, he said he'd just called to "hear my voice," which instantly means CODE RED because he's never done that before-- not within the almost-26 years I was on this planet, anyway. So I had dinner with him and his girlfriend tonight. There's nothing wrong, after all. he's probably getting all mushy as he gets older. * * *The big boss's mother has been in a coma for about 2 weeks now. I got an e-mail from my boss this afternoon saying I shouldn't go in tomorrow because her mother-in-law passed away, and that the funeral was happening tomorrow. I can't even remember what I wrote back; probably something like "no worries; we'll get it done." It wasn't until I told my mother about it, and she reminded me to call her that I've realized I should find out where and what time the funeral is so we can go tomorrow. I'm not the most social person in the world, but I'm not a sociopath either. I know how the system works, I know the rules, and I know how to play along. Yet, when it comes to death, I'm useless. Probably because I've seen way too much of it considering my age. When you get news about a baby being born, all you can do is go, "aww!" and congratulate to new parents because none of us can relate to what it feels like to be born-- we just don't fucking remember. But when it comes to death, your mind floats back to the other ones you've lived through, and the memories start sticking to your skin like acupuncture needles, the difference being how much they hurt when they shouldn't. I just hope I don't break down crying tomorrow. When it was the funerals of people who were--and still are-- a part of my heart and soul, I couldn't shed a tear. I didn't even know this woman, so I'm afraid all that I've bottled up inside might come pouring out. We'll see, I guess. * * *I've been having very weird, fucked up dreams lately. I remember bits and pieces of most of them, but there's one that I remember every second of. I've started writing it. It starts with me inside the movie Bande a part, running through the Louvre Museum, and keeps getting weirder after that. It did get me to start writing again, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish it. * * *This entry ended up being way too long, and I have a feeling nobody has the patience to read more than 140 characters at a time; therefore, THE END. | |
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| For the first time in about 2 months, I didn't get called into work today. It felt great. I didn't get out my PJs, didn't make my bed... I did get out of bed, only to eat and pee and check the downloads on my computer, and the rest of the time I just read in it. Good times. I did finally finish this:  Scrapbook updated.It was amazing. I placed an order on betterworldbooks.com a few days ago, and I got another book of the same author--A.M. Homes-- called The Mistress's Daughter: A Memoir. I really REALLY wanna read The End of Alice and Safety of Objects, but for some reason those were too expensive. Anyway... I have a feeling I'm gonna fall in love with her. There's a Alice in Wonderland theme party in the city on the 26th. My sister and her friend said they'd go with me, and I do want to go, I think, but I'm not sure if it will be good or just suck. I feel like there's no in-between options here. Oh, well. I guess I have absolutely nothing to talk about. How great. P.S. How awesome was Jim Parsons on Craig Ferguson?! Those of you who haven't seen it yet, DO IT: Part 1 & Part 2. | |
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| First things first: I've mailed out 40+ Christmas/New Year's cards yesterday morning, so if you've given me your address, you shall be getting one in about a week to 10 days, depending on where you are in the world you are, of course. I've also found out that if you have GMaiL account, you can could (I've just found out they're all out) mail an actual postcard to someone through their Happy Holidays From GMaiL page. It was US-only, so I sent one to my favorite couple, Craig and Sara. I can't wait to find out when they get it. (If you guys are reading this, I've mailed you one myself, too) Other than that, I don't have anything else to update about, really. I'm still working all the time, and it will only increase from here on, as the end of the month gets closer. I can't even remember the last time I had a proper, 2-day weekend. Tori Amos is doing a live stream on Facebook Friday night, though, which is one thing I'm looking forward to. That's something, eh? Oh, and, one of my bestest friends is going off to the army on Friday. I'm trying to hold it together and not cry about it, but I just might when we go to see him off. With the situation being what it is, I'm trying not to get scared, but I am. I can't even imagine how he himself feels. Anyway... ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) busem tagged me. I'm not gonna tag anyone, though, 'cos I'm a coward, ha! First: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.
Second: Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that like a coward. Unless you really don't want to, of course. And if you're not tagged and you want to do it, then do!( Under the cut ) | |
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|  Pretty, please, with cherries on top? I'm half-way through the third season; it's crazy. Every night when I see 4:00am on my cell, I say to myself, "one more episode, and I'm going to sleep." And then my fucking alarm goes off, and I get all upset because it's time to get ready for work midway through an episode. I should get a life, eh? Or drink down a couple of "purple-nurples" to keep up! There's really nothing to update about. I'm still workingworkingworking and not much else. My ex-girlfriend did get us tickets for New Moon for Friday night, though. Apparently they've sold out way too fast. Damn those 12-year olds and their parents' credit cards, lol. We're catching the 11pm one, and I'm hoping it won't be too chaotic, yet I'm not too crazy about how much I'll have to pay for the cab ride home. Oh, well. | |
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| !!!!!CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR'S CARD EXCHANGE!!!!!
Leave your name and address here (all comments are screened) OR e-mail them to me at neurotoxicdoll@gmail.com if you'd like a card from me this year. I know it's still early, but I'd like to purchase cards next month, and I'd like to know how many I'll need to get. So, go ahead if you want one. You have until the end of this month.- Turkcell's internet service for cellphones is such crap. I don't wanna talk too much shit about it yet, but it pissed me off. All I want to do is to be able to text @vtext.com addresses from my cell so I don't have to sit in front of the computer the entire time when I'm texting Kathy. I did manage to go online with my phone, but I don't wanna have to open up a page and log in to GMail for that. I don't have that kind of patience. And what I do wanna do has to be possible. I'm gonna go in tomorrow and ask them, and if it can't be done, they should just cancel my service.
- Apparently, there's a church here in Istanbul--of course, there are churches; you know what I mean-- that's only open on the first of every month. My boss said all the wishes she's made there had come true, so she's taking me with her on November 1st. I used to believe that you make your own luck, but this past 2 years I've learned the hard way that sometimes, when you're unlucky, you're just unlucky and there's nothing you can do about it. And trying just hurts more. So, yeah. I'll go and light a candle and make a wish.
- I wish I was good at plucking or waxing my eyebrows 'cos I hate having to pay for it, especially when I'm this broke. At least I know how to make them not look like a rain forest, right?
- I wish I could go on a shopping spree, but no can do.
( 365 Days catch-up ) | |
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|   Added to Scrapbook '09.I believe that for someone my age, I've read my fair share of teen fiction and watched my fair share of young adult aimed TV shows and movies. While I enjoy most of them, I can't relate to them too much because things were quite different when I was their age. This book was different, though, because even though it was set in Chicago and in the suburbs, everything I remembered and struggled with coming of age in the 90's was in there. Because of that, it was very very close to my heart. ( Possible spoilers )This was the first book I've read by Kuehnert, and I cannot wait to read her first one, I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone. That's a coming-of-age tale as well, so I think I'll have to read something else in between. ( 365.13 ) | |
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|  I've looked through the Ikea catalog today and marked the stuff that I might want to get for my room. I used to be very annoyed when you walked into someone's house and realized right away that everything they own is bought from Ikea, but everywhere else seems to be so much more expensive. Except for my bed, everything is exactly the same as it was when I was in high school, so I really need to change it. I haven't even decided what color I want my walls to be, but I'm leaning toward Azure or sky blue or something along those lines. I'm sick of the fact that I'm unconsciously picking up the most depressing colors all the damn time. Blue just might be my new favorite color. * * *Spanish seemed to drag on forever today, and I almost fell asleep. Whenever we were practicing conversations, I stuck a A mi me gusta dormir in between sentences so the poor guy finally gave up on me and ended it half an hour early. * * *On days like this, I really hate that all my friends I love to death are far far far far far far away. Sometimes I don't even have to talk for so long that I even forget the sound of my own voice. People keep telling me I should go out more often and all, but everything feels so fucking fake that I just feel disgusted whenever I do-- people dancing to music that they don't even really like, trying to show off the skills that they don't even have, talking and not listening at all and pretending they're the best thing that can happen to you when they're apparently not. I probably sound like I'm up on this high horse, but those of you who know me know that that's not how it is: I just don't fit in here; never have and probably never will. After that psycho babble shit, time for the pic of the day. I suck at this so bad that most of the time I don't even wanna keep doing it, ha! ( 365.12 )ETA: It cracks me up whenever I see someone's pointed out in their profile that they "write how they talk." Shouldn't there be a ton of uhhh...uhhhh...UHHH somewhere in there if that's the case? Or maybe it's just bedtime for me. | |
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| - I'm having a love&hate relationship with Stephanie Kuehnert's Ballads of Suburbia. I've never lived in the suburbs, but I'm finding out that they're no different than city ballads, and some parts make me cringe because they remind me so much of my youth-- like the cutting and the drugs and the heartaches... Plus, she has quotes from kickass songs at the beginning of every part of the book, and the Tori Amos one killed me: "She's been everybody else's girl; Maybe one day she'll be her own." I wish I wasn't so damn tired all the time so I could read more than one chapter every night, but that's not very likely lately.
- I'm getting sick of writing in bullets, but that's all I can do for now.
- I've just noticed that some episodes of Six Feet Under are directed by Rodrigo Garcia. This made me SQUEEEEEEEEEE big time 'cos how awesome is that?
- I've always been pretty poor, but never in debt. Now that's happened, too. Sad, sad... I was actually expecting a phone call or something from my bank because I max'd it the second day I had it. It's for a good cause, though. Those of you who know, know.
- I have to get up earlier than I normally do tomorrow because 0oangelface24o0 was nice enough to let me mail the knitting needles to her, and I need to Western Union the shipping money to her. Thank goodness there's a currency exchange office right by the bank, and I don't have to travel extra for that.
I'm thinking we should start Music Thursdays and share mixtapes (well, mix zip files, really) of songs we've been obsessed with that week. 'cos Thursday is such a stupid, unnecessary day. Who's in? | |
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| The big toe of my left foot looks retarded, thanks to Sally (I almost typed Ophelia, and I should really stop calling Sally Ophelia). She gets very pissed off if she catches you picking up poop from her litter box, so I shut the bathroom door tightly when I do it. This morning, the plastic bag I used had a hole, so it turned into a big mess, which I had to clean... Of course, Sally was waiting right outside the door as usual, and in order to not step on her (she likes to jump on legs), I did this stupid jump-like thingy and banged my foot on the corner of the wall. I don't know why I felt the need to share this in this much detail, but OUCH. I've been continuing to write the story that I've posted about a while ago. I'm pretty content with the story itself and all (never can be perfectly happy with it 'cos ANY writing can be so much better than it is), but the problem is ME. I've noticed I've written like a term paper. EW. Yeah, EW. I blame work. So that's what happened on my boring Saturday. How was yours? ETA: Update for dreamxobscene-- A mi me gusta escribir y las peliculas. Me encanta JuJu. ¿Me da dos kilos de manzanas por favor? He hasn't even taught me the most important yet, and I keep forgetting to ask... HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE SAY, "I MISS YOU?" | |
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| - Is it 5pm yet? NOPE. Only 3:40, and I'm going crazy at work.
- My credit card still hasn't arrived. In Turkish, there's a saying... Say it 41 times and it will happen. GET HERE, CARD x41. There.
- The main reason I want it to get here so bad is that I'm going to get an iPod as an early birthday present for myself. And if you purchase with a credit card, they divide the payments monthly, and it's the only way I can afford one. I have my heart set on one of these, the blue one to be more specific. Blue is my favorite color lately; I don't know why.
- Ramadan starts tomorrow. I loathe taking the bus and being around people this time of the year even more than ever because most of them are fasting, therefore they go bananas, especially toward the end of the day. I don't fast since it screws up my blood sugar, and there's NO WAY I can walk to work without drinking any water. The main thing I'm looking forward to though is this: put some mozarella or Greek cheese inside it and then NOMNOMNOM.
- I might be going to Yalova one weekend if I can arrange my Spanish lesson to happen on a week day. Cica wants to take me (and my mom and sister) out to dinner for the brealing of the fast. I know she's gonna give me crap for not fasting, so I might just have to do it for that weekend.
* * *I have a feeling I've done this one before, but here: Ask me to take up to 3 picture of any aspect of my life that you're curious about - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favorite shoes. No Bosphorus requests, please. You'll get better results if you just Google that shiz. | |
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