I woke up at 4:30am, went WTFF, but couldn't go back to sleep. I bugged Sally for a while, but even she is asleep now. Anyway... I might as well do this:


vaisselle asked Top 5 Tori Amos songs: This is so hard, you don't even realize. If you said "Tori Amos songs you don't really like," then it would be okay, but now I feel bad for leaving most of my favorites out. ( Rest under the cut )

This took forfuckingever.

• I'm having a love&hate relationship with Stephanie Kuehnert's Ballads of Suburbia. I've never lived in the suburbs, but I'm finding out that they're no different than city ballads, and some parts make me cringe because they remind me so much of my youth-- like the cutting and the drugs and the heartaches... Plus, she has quotes from kickass songs at the beginning of every part of the book, and the Tori Amos one killed me: "She's been everybody else's girl; Maybe one day she'll be her own." I wish I wasn't so damn tired all the time so I could read more than one chapter every night, but that's not very likely lately.
• I'm getting sick of writing in bullets, but that's all I can do for now.
• I've just noticed that some episodes of Six Feet Under are directed by Rodrigo Garcia. This made me SQUEEEEEEEEEE big time 'cos how awesome is that?
• I've always been pretty poor, but never in debt. Now that's happened, too. Sad, sad... I was actually expecting a phone call or something from my bank because I max'd it the second day I had it. It's for a good cause, though. Those of you who know, know.
• I have to get up earlier than I normally do tomorrow because 0oangelface24o0 was nice enough to let me mail the knitting needles to her, and I need to Western Union the shipping money to her. Thank goodness there's a currency exchange office right by the bank, and I don't have to travel extra for that.

I'm thinking we should start Music Thursdays and share mixtapes (well, mix zip files, really) of songs we've been obsessed with that week. 'cos Thursday is such a stupid, unnecessary day. Who's in?

I've been listening to Tori's Abnormally Attracted to Sin ever since I got home, and the song Ophelia = <33333333333333333333333333

Ophelia your secret is safe
Ophelia you must break the chain
some girls will get their way
some fathers will control from the grave
Ophelia you must remember

Veronica's America is not like--
is not like Charlotte's, one to savor
cosmic flavor
then Alison whispers, "remember
Change waltzes in with her sister Pain
waiting for you to send her away
wish her well break the chain
break the chain"
I feel you

Ophelia
"The Eve of St. Agnes",
a poem he can't reach you in
Ophelia you know how to lose
but when will you learn to choose
those men who choose to stay
those mothers who won't look the other way
Ophelia you must remember

Veronica's America is not like ---
is not like Charlotte's, one to savor
cosmic flavor
then Alison whispers, "remember
Change waltzes in with her sister Pain
waiting for you to send her away
wish her well break the chain
break the chain"
I feel you
Ophelia

Okay... That was a good cry.

1. 'Give'
2. 'Welcome to England'
3. 'Strong Black Vine'
4. 'Flavor'
5. 'Not Dying Today'
6. 'Maybe California'
7. 'Curtain Call'
8. 'Fire to Your Plain'
9. 'Police Me'
10. 'That Guy'
11. 'Abnormally Attracted to Sin'
12. '500 Miles'
13. 'Mary Jane'
14. 'Starling'
15. 'Fast Horse'
16. 'Ophelia'
17. 'Lady in Blue'

I've heard three tracks so far (Welcome to England, Fire to Your Plain, 500 Miles) and they don't sound very Tori... I guess we'll see. I must admit I'm rather impatient to hear the song "Ophelia" though.

The lovely maudlinstar tagged me. The rules are that for 8 days you have to post something that made you happy that day.
Tag 8 people to do the same.

Day 1: I could be working today, but I didn't get called in, so I can actually stay home and try to get over the sickness.


On the negative side, I didn't get any sleep last night because I'm having a hard time breathing. I cannot for the life of me fall asleep on my back, so trying is pointless.

But I do have something that makes me feel better: Welcome to Sunny Florida!

The Original Bootlegs are finally added to my obsessive-compulsive Tori collection. I don't skip even a single song because it's all Tori & Bösendörfer, which equals to heaven with boobs and keys.

The Beekeeper is my least favorite Tori album, and it has been for a while. But the live versions of the songs on the album, especially Cars & Guitars, Barons of Suburbia and Original Sinsuality are oh-sooooo good.

None of the discs have any Black Dove (January Girl) though, which made me kinda sad, but there are a lot of my other favorite songs to make up for it (and it won't change the fact that the song will be my Tori tattoo as soon as I can afford it). Like, for example, Yes, Anastasia... Before she starts playing, she talks to the people up on the balcony, telling them how she would be scared she would fall if she were up there. Then she bursts into an improv:

Please don't fall... Please don't fall 'cos I couldn't bare the thought of your bones and your blood... Please don't fall... I love a red dress, but not tonight... It doesn't go with my peach lavender tight... I need you right where you are... I need you right where you are just for a little while... So I ask you, if you're feeling suicidal could you wait until-Sarah-McLaughlin-plays-here-in-a-couple-of-years?

Have I mentioned how much I adore this woman? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I've never done this sort of thing before, but I randomly found torisongclaim at 4 in the morning, and when I saw that one of my favorite songs off ALL time hasn't been taken yet, I kind of jumped on it.

"It's a journey. Anastasia Romanov... it's not like I've read loads of books on her. I was aware of the family and that's about it. So I'm in Virginia, and I had crabs...I keep saying that! I had crab sickness, I had eaten bad crabs in Maryland! But I couldn't cancel the show. I was at soundcheck, and needless to say, when you are very, very ill, it is easier to communicate with your source... you are fragile and vulnerable. Well, her presence came. Now I have only heard of her in history, I've got no point to make. She comes and goes 'you've got to write my tune.' I 'go ohhh, now's not really a good time.' She says 'no, you've got to understand something from this, there's something here that you've got to come to terms with.' And that night came," as she softly sings the line "'We'll see how brave you are,' and that was really about the whole record. That came just about before everything. And whenever I sing that chorus, 'we'll see how brave you are,' it means so many different things to me. It's part of my self, my spirit self saying to the rest of myself, 'if you really want a challenge, just deal with yourself. The funny thing is that Anna Anderson, who claimed to be Anastasia, died very close to where I was playing, an hour or so from there in the 80s. The feeling I got that Anna Anderson was Anastasia Romanov. She always tried to prove it and a lot of people believed her and some people didn't want to believe her, because of what that would have meant. And again, it's really working through being a victim. 'Counting the tears from ten thousand men, and gathered them all, but my feel are slipping.' You can't blame the men anymore; there's always you. It comes back to us; it comes back to me."
[Tori Amos, B Side, 04/94]

Tori Amos - Yes, Anastasia (mp3)

If you know me so well then tell me which hand I use...
I have this song on repeat whenever I'm writing, and Tori is seriously helping me get closer and closer to 50,000 words. You should all download it because it's fucking beautiful both lyrically and musically.